This story relates to: Hiram Benjamin Crosby (1831-1900) and Margaret Anna Ackerman (1843-1924)

Hiram Benjamin Crosby’s Two Families

When he lived in New York City, Hiram B. Crosby had two families concurrently—his first family with his wife, Mary, in North Salem, and the other with Margaret Ackerman, 50 miles away in Manhattan and later in Throggs Neck. He did not divorce his wife, Mary, before he started his second family with Margaret Ackerman. For many years, despite having several children with Margaret Ackerman in Manhattan, North Salem was publicly listed as his home residence.

Hiram’s First Family, Norwich Connecticut

In September 1859 at the age of 27, Hiram Benjamin Crosby married Mary Zilpha Scott,[1] daughter of Clark and Zilpha (Judd) Scott[2], who was 10 years his junior.  

Hiram and Mary lived with his parents in their home in Union Street, Norwich, Connecticut.[3] Multi-generational households were conventional. Also in the household was Hiram’s unmarried sister, Elizabeth, whose occupation in the 1860 US Census was listed as “Lady”. Mary’s occupation was listed as “Companion”, presumably ‘Lady’ Elizabeth’s companion.[4] I don’t know how or when Mary and Elizabeth met but I believe they had an enduring friendship.

A son, Charles Erskine Crosby, was born to Hiram and Mary on July 11, 1860.[5] 

Shortly after Charles turned two, Hiram enlisted in the Union Army where he rose to the rank of Colonel in the 21st Connecticut Regiment Infantry during the American Civil War.[6] After serving for just over 2 years, he was honorably discharge in September 1864[7] due to ill health. [See: Hiram Benjamin Crosby in the Civil War] On regaining his health, Hiram resumed his law practice in Norwich.

A daughter was born to Hiram and Mary on September 29, 1864, in Norwich.[8] Though there is no indication that she was stillborn, I believe she must have died young as I cannot find any further mention of her, not even her name. She does not appear in the 1870 census with her mother and brother. I have not found a death record or a cemetery memorial for her.

Move to New York City

Hiram became engaged in several new business ventures, some of which involved more time away from Norwich and family. Norwich was not a small town, but Hiram had greater ambitions than what Norwich could provide and these ambitions led him to New York City.

So in about 1869,[9] Hiram, Mary and their son Charles moved into Mary’s parents’ home in North Salem in the northeast corner of Westchester County, New York. This became the permanent home for Mary and Charles, but I suspect that Hiram did not spend much time there. Despite Hiram not being listed in his in-law’s household in the 1870 census where Mary and Charles are listed,[10] I believe that it was most probably Hiram’s residence at the time but that he was away. I have been unable to find him anywhere in the 1870 census nor in any Norwich or New York City directory for 1870 or 1871. 

He is, however, listed as a lay delegate to the Convention of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of New York for St. James Church, North Salem, for 1869, 1870 and 1871.[11]

In New York City directories for 1872 – 1883, Hiram’s work address is listed as Nassau Street in the Financial District of NYC and his home address as North Salem or Westchester County[12] which is about 50 miles north of midtown Manhattan—a long commute if in fact he did live in North Salem.

Also, when Hiram purchased land adjacent to his in-laws’ property in July 1875, the land deed states that Hiram is of North Salem, Westchester County.[13]

In October 1877 when Hiram sold this same property to his father-in-law, Clark Scott, the deed reads, "Hiram B. Crosby of the town of North Salem and Mary S. Crosby his wife".[14] Mary's name is included in the land deed to release her dower right. As Hiram's wife, Mary held a legal right to one-third of his land for her lifetime if he passed away before her. If she did not sign the deed, she could potentially reclaim the property as a widow, even years later. So in October 1877, Mary is still considered to be Hiram’s legal wife.

Hiram’s Second Family

At some stage Hiram and Mary separated, but Hiram must have started his relationship with Margaret Ackerman at least by the autumn of 1871 as their first child together, Hiram Bedford Crosby, was born in July 1872.[15] Their tenth and last child, Elizabeth Ackerman Crosby, was born in April 1891.[16] 

In 1880 while Mary and Charles were living in her father's home in North Salem, Hiram and his second family were living at 30 East 10th Street just north of Union Square in the Flatiron District of Midtown Manhattan along with three domestic servants.[17] This home was only 2 miles from his office in Nassau Street. 

In about 1884 or earlier, Hiram and his second family moved into a large home at Throgg’s Neck in the Bronx.[18] Horatio N. Twombly, a Dartmouth classmate of Hiram's, was often a guest in Hiram's home and "spoke in high terms of his [Hiram’s] home life…and remarked upon the facility with which the boys and girls used the Greek Testament. Crosby's Latin, Greek, and mathematics, once a task, are now his delight, especially the classics. He has read the Iliad and Odyssey entire, and his wife says he should have been a college president. He finds in these early studies a renewal of his youth. His children, taught especially at home, in addition to other advanced culture have gained a good knowledge of Latin and Greek; two sons are qualified to enter college but have chosen not to take a college course.”[19] 

Mary Sues for Divorce and (to date) Unanswered Questions

In 1882, a lawsuit involving a claim on a property was filed in the Supreme Court, County of Westchester, New York, against "Margaret A. Crosby wife of Hiram B. Crosby and the said Hiram B. Crosby"[20] as well as two others. But were Hiram and Margaret legally married?

In January 1896, thirty-six years after their marriage, Mary sued Hiram for divorce in the New York Supreme Court.[21] I do not (yet) know the details or outcome of this case—some records are not easily obtained, sometimes for privacy reasons. While there were newspaper articles reporting that Mary was suing, I have not found any further articles detailing the results of that suit.

The Sun, Saturday 18 January 1896:
Image of newspaper article which says: Mary S. Crosby sues Hiram B. Crosby for divorce. Says they were married on Sept. 29, 1859 and have a son, Charles E. Crosby. Says husband has lived at Throgg's Neck since 1884 with Margaret Ackerman with whom he has several children.

New York Herald, Saturday 18 January 1896:
Image of newspaper article which says: Mary S. Crosby has sued for divorce from H.B. Crosby, a lawyer, to whom she was married in 1859. They separated more than ten years ago. She says he has been living during that time in a large mansion surrounded by fifteen acres of ground, at Throgg's Neck, with another woman, and has made no provisions for her support.

According to those initial newspaper articles, Mary claimed that she and Hiram had been separated for more than ten years. I am surprised that the number of years stated was not more. I would have expected “more than twenty years” as Hiram’s first child with Margaret was 23 years old at the time that Mary initiated divorce proceedings.

Mary also claimed that Hiram had been living at Throgg's Neck since 1884 with Margaret Ackerman and that he had several children by her. In fact, Margaret had ten children by Hiram.

Mary stated that Hiram lived in a large mansion with grounds of fifteen acres that ran down to the Long Island Sound. And she declared that her husband had not provided for her even though he was well able to do so. She had no property of her own, except an interest of about $800 in her father's estate. Her father had died in April 1893[22] and her mother in February 1895.[23]

It is interesting to note that Margaret is referred to as “Margaret Ackerman” not “Margaret Crosby”.

Passings

A year after Mary sued Hiram for divorce, their son, Charles Erskine Crosby who was a journalist was killed in Cuba while covering the Cuban insurrection.[24]

By June 1900, four years after Mary sued for divorce, Hiram and his second family were no longer living in Throgg’s Neck. They were renting a home north of Throgg’s Neck in Pelham Bay Park.[25]

Hiram died later that year, aged 68, on October 7, 1900, from a cerebral embolism and indirectly from chronic nephritis.[26] He was buried in the beautiful Kensico Cemetery in Valhalla, Westchester County, New York.[27]

Mary Scott Crosby died 18 May 1903, aged 61.[28] She left an interesting Will. [That story to come later.]

Margaret Ackerman Crosby[?] died 20 October 1924, aged 81, in Mamaroneck, Westchester County, New York.[29]

An extra note– DNA matches

I am a descendant of Thomas Gresham Crosby, son of Hiram B. Crosby and Margaret Ackerman. DNA results on Ancestry.com shows that I am a DNA match with the descendants of several other of Hiram and Margaret’s children (Hiram, Margaret, William, and Constanze). It also shows that I am a DNA match with several descendants of Charles E. Crosby, the son of Hiram B. Crosby and Mary Scott. The DNA results are, therefore, consistent with Hiram Benjamin Crosby being our shared ancestor.
– Hope Stewart (April 7, 2026)

Footnotes & Sources

  1. [1] "Sues H.B. Crosby for Divorce", The Sun (New York), Saturday 18 January 1896, p8. https://fultonhistory.com/Fulton.html
  2. [2] Two sources. The 1880 census gives the relationship of Mary Crosby to Clark Scott as daughter and Zilpha Scott to Clark Scott as wife. As Clark and Zilpha married in 1836, about 5 years before Mary was born, it is highly likely that Zilpha is Mary's mother.
    • 1880 U.S. Census, North Salem Town, Westchester County, New York; Roll: 946; Page: 75a; Enumeration District: 116; Enumerated 12 Jun 1880. Ancestry.com
    • Ridgefield Vital Records, 1709-1850, Connecticut, U.S., Town Marriage Records, pre-1870 (Barbour Collection), Vol. 1, page 185. Ancestry.com
  3. [3] Norwich, Connecticut, City Directory, 1861, p41; Ancestry.com, U.S., City Directories, 1822-1995.
  4. [4] 1860 U.S. census, New London County, Connecticut, population schedule, Norwich, page 878, dwelling 635, family 709, Hiram Crosby; imaged, “1860 United States Federal Census,” Ancestry.com
  5. [5] Connecticut, Births and Christenings, 1649-1906, pages 325-326, image 324 of 941, FamilySearch, https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:F77C-FJ2
  6. [6] Henry A. Hazen and S. Lewis B. Speare, eds., A history of the class of 1854 in Dartmouth college, including Col. Haskell's narrative of the battle of Gettysburg (Boston: Alfred Mudge & Son, Printers, No. 24 Franklin Street; 1898), page 20; imaged book, HathiTrust, https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/100476707
  7. [7] Malcolm McGregor Dana, The Norwich memorial: the annals of Norwich, New London County, Connecticut, in the Great Rebellion of 1861-65 (Norwich, Conn., J.H. Jewett and Company, 1873), page 21; digital image, FamilySearch, https://www.familysearch.org/library/books/records/item/944493-the-norwich-memorial-the-annals-of-norwich-new-london-county-connecticut-in-the-great-rebellion-of-1861-65
  8. [8] Two sources:
    • "Register of Births in the Town of Norwich", Norwich, New London, Connecticut, United States records, images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-89V1-NHQ9?lang=en&i=741 : Dec 13, 2025), image 742 of 941; Norwich (Connecticut). Registrar of Vital Statistics. Image Group Number: 007616164. This record lists Hiram B. Crosby, lawyer, as the father and Mary Scott Crosby as the mother. Presumably, Hiram had leave from his command in about December 1863 or January 1864, or Mary somehow met up with him somewhere, for him to have fathered the child.
    • In the 1900 census, Mary Crosby is listed as being the mother of two children none of which were still living. "United States, Census, 1900," database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HY-67C3-RQ6?cc=1325221&wc=9BW9-Y4W%3A1030551901%2C1036314401%2C1036353201 : 5 August 2014), New York > Westchester > ED 101 North Salem Township > image 9 of 23; citing NARA microfilm publication T623 (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.).
  9. [9] Hazen and Spear, A history of the class of 1854 in Dartmouth college [fn 6] says Hiram “removed to New York city in 1866” but as he is still being taxed in Norwich in April 1867 and was president of the Norwich Grant Club in 1868, I believe ‘1866’ to be incorrect. Also, when he is in Cuba on 14 March 1867, Hiram B. Crosby is listed as “Lawyer, Norwich, Conn” when he visited La Honradez, a cigar factory:
    • Connecticut, U.S., Excise Tax Lists, 1865-1874, April 1867, page 5, image 9/136, Ancestry.com.
    • For President, Ulysses S. Grant, of Illinois. For Vice President, William A. Buckingham, of Connecticut, a campaign pamphlet, Norwich: Bulletin Office, 172 Main Street; 1868; pages 1-3. https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.31951002067353t&seq=631
    • Real fabrica La Honradez, agraciada especialmente por S.M.C. con el uso de sus reales armas. Gran manufactura de cigarros de todas clases, emboquillados, papiros, picaduras, &c. &c. (Havana Cuba, 1867) which lists persons who, since June 26, 1862, visited their royal factory and registered their names and observations in the special register kept for that purpose. https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044088988332&seq=5 (page 263, image 439/454, accessed 29 Oct 2025)
  10. [10] 1870 U.S. Census, North Salem Town, Westchester County, New York; Enumerated 5 Aug 1870; pages 31-32, Ancestry, https://www.ancestry.com/imageviewer/collections/7163/images/4277182_00371
  11. [11] "List of Lay Delegates to this Convention", Journal of the Proceedings of the [1869/1870/1871] Convention of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of New York; 1869 page 26, image 34/928; 1870, page 26, image 254/928; 1871, page 26, image 476/928, HathiTrust, https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.hntlnu&seq=9 (accessed 27 Oct 2025)
  12. [12] U.S., City Directories, 1822-1995, Ancestry.com. North Salem is list as his home address in the New York City Directories for 1872, 1875, 1878, 1879, and 1883. Westchester County is listed as his home address in 1874 and 1876, though East 26th Street is listed in the 1876 Goulding's Business Directory. I have not found directories for 1873, 1877, 1880 or 1881.
  13. [13] “Westchester, New York, United States records”, images, FamilySearch, https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QSQ-G9W8-WRBZ?view=fullText, images 452-454 of 493; New York, County Court (Westchester County). Image Group Number 007141499.
  14. [14] “Westchester, New York, United States records”, images, FamilySearch, https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99W8-Q93V?view=fullText, image 47 of 496; New York, County Court (Westchester County). Image Group Number 007141499.
  15. [15] Two sources:
    • Record for Hiram B Crosby, California Death Index, 1940-1997, Ancestry.com.
    • Passport application for Hiram Bedford Crosby dated 13 Nov 1919, U.S. Passport Applications, 1795-1925, Ancestry.com . Original source: National Archives and Records Administration (NARA); Washington D.C.; Passport Applications, January 2, 1906 - March 31, 1925; Collection Number: ARC Identifier 583830 / MLR Number A1 534; NARA Series: M1490; Roll #985.
  16. [16] Birth record for Elizabeth Ackerman Crosby, "Register of Births in the Town of Westchester, County of Westchester, State of New York", New York, New York, U.S., Vital Records, Births 1847-1897, Marriages 1847-1903, Deaths 1798-1900, Ancestry.com
  17. [17] Two sources:
    • 1880 U.S. Census, New York City, New York, New York; Roll: 870; Page: 67d; Enumeration District: 073, lines 26-35. Enumerated 2 Jun 1880.
    • List of registered voters in the city of New York, for the year 1880, compiled, printed, and distributed under the auspices of the Committee of One Hundred on Democratic Re-organization, v.1, 1881; image 195/926. HathiTrust, https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nyp.33433058767173&seq=7 (accessed 29 Oct 2025)
  18. [18] Two sources:
    • "Sues H.B. Crosby for Divorce", The Sun (New York), Saturday 18 January 1896, p8. https://fultonhistory.com/Fulton.html (accessed 16 Sep 2025)
    • "Court Notes", New York Herald (New York), Saturday 18 January 1896, page 9:6. https://fultonhistory.com/Fulton.html (accessed 16 Sep 2025)
  19. [19] Henry A. Hazen and S. Lewis B. Speare, eds., A history of the class of 1854 in Dartmouth college, page 20.
  20. [20] “Lincoln, Yonkers, Westchester, New York, United States records”, images, FamilySearch https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99WX-64LV?view=fullText, image 305/678; New York, Supreme Court (Westchester County); Image Group Number 007154549.
  21. [21] Two sources:
    • "Sues H.B. Crosby for Divorce", The Sun (New York) (n. 13)
    • "Court Notes", New York Herald (New York) (n. 13)
  22. [22] New York, U.S., Death Index, 1852-1956, Ancestry.com
  23. [23] Find a Grave, https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/41639820/mary-crosby
  24. [24] Charles Henry Brown, The Correspondents’ War: journalists in the Spanish-American War, Scribner, New York, 1967, pp88-89; imaged book, Internet Archive https://archive.org/details/correspondentswa0000brow/page/88/mode/2up (accessed 30 Sep 2025)
  25. [25] 1900 U.S. Census, Bronx, New York, NY, National Archives Microfilm T623, roll 1127, page 2A, Enumeration District 1052. Ancestry, https://www.ancestry.com/imageviewer/collections/7602/images/4114700_00791?pId=45356072
  26. [26] Death record for Hiram B. Crosby, State of New York, City of New York, Borough of the Bronx, certificate no. 3492, dated 9 Oct 1900; informant was the attending doctor.
  27. [27] Find a Grave, https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/234995348/hiram-benjamin-crosby
  28. [28] Find a Grave, https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/41639820/mary-crosby. See the image of the monument which reads: “Clark Scott, Died April 26, 1893; Zilpha Judd his wife, Died February 13, 1885; Mary Scott Crosby, Died May 18, 1903; Charles Erskine her son, Died March 8, 1897”. As per item 2 of Mary Scott Crosby's will, a monument was erected for her parents, her son and herself. Mary S Crosby, New York, U.S., Wills and Probate Records, Vol 145-146, 1903-1904 pp 503-506; Ancestry.com, New York, U.S., Wills and Probate Records, 1659-1999, images 624-626 of 676. Original data from New York County, District and Probate Courts. Wills and Letters, 1777-1983; Author: Westchester County (New York), Surrogate's Court.
  29. [29] "Record of Deaths”, Margaret A. Crosby, Mamaroneck, Westchester County, New York, Registered Number 1924-20, filed 21 Oct 1924; informant unknown.

Published 6 December 2025. Last updated 13 April 2026.

Access key details

1 Home page
2 What's new
9 Feedback form
0 Access key details